Aren't you tired?
No. There's so much of it.
Will we live here all the time, Pop?
Want to?
Sure. I like it.
Why did we always live in California?
I was born there, got married there...
just went right on living there.
Did Mother ever come to New York?
No. I was here by myself once for three days.
You still think of her, Tommy?
Sort of. Not all the time.
Just sometimes.
How old was I when she died, Pop?
You were four years old.
A long time.
You ever going to get married again?
Oh, maybe.
Want me to?
I don't care.
I like it fine this way...
but Grandma says you're getting tougher...
to have around the house.
She does, does she?
Any more complaints from Grandma?
She says you're too picky and choosy.
Where are we going?
PHI L: To meet Grandma at Saks.
TOM: Hey, Pop, look at that.
What's he supposed to be doing?
That's Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.
No kidding? That's what Grandma says you're doing.
She wishes you'd leave the world alone a while.
Yeah? Looks like I'll have to slug Grandma.
Hey, we're late. Grandma's going to slug us.
Come on.
I love waiting for people.
There's nothing like waiting for people who are always late.
We're late because I'm carrying the world on my shoulders.
It's heavy. You can't walk fast.
Put it down gently and pay for your son's shoes.
I'll thank you, Tommy, to keep your mouth shut.
TOM: I said he's getting tougher to have around the house.
PHI L: How much are shoes in New York?
TOM: Better give her ten bucks.
Wish me luck, Ma. I'm going up to the magazine.
Good luck, Phil. I hope it's something you want and not far.
It'll be right here.
Otherwise, Minify wouldn't have gotten us the apartment.
TOM: Does Mr. Minify always tell you what to write?
Don't you ever think up what to write yourself?
Yeah, I think sometimes for myself.
I'm late. Have fun.
Boys' shoes?
Fourth floor.
WOMAN: Toy department, please?
CLERK: Second floor.
MAN: Right in there.
SECOND MAN: Thank you.
Smith's Weekly, please.
Reception room. Sixth floor. Right in there.
MAN: Yes. I did have an appointment.
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry. I have no record of it.
MAN: I spoke with his secretary...
and she said to come in this morning.
RECEPTIONIST: He'll be in himself in a half hour.
Yes, please?
I have an appointment with Mr. Minify.
-Name, please? -Schuyler Green.
MAN: Telegram for Mr. Pendleton.
Through the door, second office to the right.
Schuyler Green to see Mr. Minify.
Thank you.
Mr. Minify is expecting you.
-Mr. Herman will call for these. -Janet.
For Mr. Minify.
Follow me, please.
Thanks.
-Yes, please? -Miss Dettrey's expecting me.
RECEPTIONIST: Just a moment, please.
Mr. Green.
SECRETARY: Mr. Minify's on the long distance.
He'll be through in a moment. Won't you sit down?
Have you seen the last issue?
PHI L: No. Thank you.
MI NI FY: Mr. Green out there yet?
SECRETARY: Yes. Mr. Green is here.
MI NI FY: Good. I'll be right out.
Come in. Glad you're here, Green.
This is all right now. Get it off airmail special.
-Glad to see you. Come on in. -Thanks.
Sit down.
Finding your way around?
Almost.
Mother and kid like New York?
PHI L: Fine. They like the apartment, too.
Probably the last Manhattan apartment left.
Getting to know people here?
Not yet. I'm slow about that.
We'll fix that. How about tonight at my place?
Having a couple girls and some people.
PHI L: Thanks. Some other time.
Nonsense. I won't ask again.
Here's the address.
Miss Miller, don't disturb me for anything.
Tell Mrs. Minify Mr. Green's coming to dinner.
Now get good and comfortable.
There. Because I'm going to talk to you...
for about an hour.
Maybe two.
I've had an idea.
J ESSI E: Go into the bar.
-I'd love a martini. -We'll get you one.
MI NI FY:Jessie.
Schuyler Green I've been telling you about. My wife.
J ESSI E: I know Mr. Green. I've read everything he ever wrote.
You never stop talking. Get him a drink.
MI NI FY: What'll you have?
-A martini. -Good.
J ESSI E: Kathy, this is Mr. Green.
My niece Miss Lacey and Bill Lacey.
MI NI FY: You better clear things up.
J ESSI E: Well, Kathy--
MI NI FY: Kathy and Bill have been divorced a couple years.
Calls herself Miss Lacey and confuses everybody.
All very friendly, very civilized, and very dumb.
Likes your stuff, though.
J ESSI E: Please sit down, Mr. Green.
KATHY: Bill, get me a drink?
-Same as before all right? -Just right.
I haven't read everything you've written...
but what I have has been...
MI NI FY: What do people call a guy whose name is Schuyler?
PHI L: Phil.
MI NI FY: Good. I don't have to say Green all the time.
Two hardy last names, and Schuyler is impossible.
-That bad? -I wouldn't call a dog Schuyler.
J ESSI E:John.
It was my mother's name.
My middle one.
I started signing my stuff Schuyler Green...
on the college paper at Stanford.
It sounded better to me, I guess, than Philip.
Like Somerset Maugham instead of William...
Sinclair Lewis instead of Harry.
Somerset, Sinclair, Schuyler-- all Ss.
Maybe that means something.
Yes.
KATHY: Do you mind telling people what you're writing now?
No, not at all.
Well, I'm not writing anything just now, but--
MI NI FY: Let me tell her.
I've asked him to do a series on anti-Semitism.
Break it wide open. Been wanting to do it for some time.
Do I get a credit line?
You? For what?
Remember around Christmas of last year...
thatJewish schoolteacher resigning? I was the one--
I knew somebody was after me, but I forgot who.
J ESSI E: John, theJacksons are here.
I'm always stealing ideas without knowing it, Phil.
That's what keeps the magazine original.
Funny, your suggesting the series.
Is it? Why?
Oh, uh...
lots of reasons.
You make up your mind too quickly about people.
Women, anyway.
I saw you do it when you sat down.
PHI L: As apparent as all that?
You cross-filed and indexed me--
a little too well bred, self-confident...
artificial, a trifle absurd, typical New York.
No, I didn't have time for all that.
Yes, you did. I even left out a few--
faintly irritating upper-class manner...
overbright voice.
All right, all right, I give up.
You win.
I'm sorry. I couldn't resist it...
because it's only partly true.
Is this your first trip east?
No, it's not my first trip.
Every other time I've been here...
I've had a plane or railroad or boat ticket for tomorrow.
Are you going to stay?
PHI L: I think so.
You're getting a pretty complete story on me.
Now it's your turn.
Well, you know I'm divorced.
I help run a nursery school.
I'm called Miss Lacey.
Do you want just anything?
Just anything.
J ESSI E: Dinner.
KATHY: Dinner?
No reading comics at the table, Tommy. Put it away.
TOM: Oh, let me finish. I'm right at the end.
MRS. GREEN: No making mysteries at the table, either, Phil.
PHI L: Mysteries?
You haven't even mentioned your assignment.
He wants me to do a series on anti-Semitism.
You don't sound very enthusiastic.
I'm not.
MRS. GREEN: Will he insist on your doing it?
Oh, no, he's not that kind of an editor.
Ma, what do you do to just eggs to make them taste this way?
MRS. GREEN: Pray over them.
Have a good time last night?
PHI L: Yeah.
You know, you need new people as much as you need new places.
I mean, everybody does, not just you.
It was a good bunch to start on.
There was a girl, Minify's niece...
who suggested that series on anti-Semitism. Funny.
You don't say.
Why, women will be thinking next, hmm?
TOM: What's anti-Semitism?
-Hmm? -What's anti-Semitism?
Oh, that's where some people...
don't like other people just because they'reJews.
Why? Are they bad?
Some are, sure. Some aren't. It's like everybody else.
What areJews, anyway? I mean, exactly.
You remember last week when you asked me about that big church?
I told you there were lots of different churches.
Yeah.
The people who go to that church are called Catholics.
There are people who go to other churches...
and they're called Protestants.
There are others who go to still different ones...
and they're called Jews...
only they call their churches synagogues or temples.
And why don't some people like those?
Well, that's kind of a tough one to explain, Tom.
Some people hate Catholics and some hateJews.
And no one hates us 'cause we're Americans.
MRS. GREEN: Ahem.
Well, no, no. That's, uh...
that's another thing again.
You can be an American and a Catholic...
or an American and a Protestant...
or an American and a Jew.
Look, Tom, it's like this.
One thing's your country, see? Like America...
or France or Germany or Russia, all the countries.
The flag, the uniform, the language is different.
And the airplanes are marked different?
Differently, that's right.
But the other thing is religion...
like theJewish, Catholic, or Protestant religions.
That hasn't anything to do...
with the flag, uniform, or airplanes. Got it?
-Yep. -Don't get mixed up.
I got it.
Some people are mixed up.
Why?
It's 8:30. You'd better get going.
Yeah, yeah, you'll be late.
Finish your milk.
Thanks, Grandma. Bye.
Whew.
That's all right, Phil. You're always good with him.
PHI L: That kid's going to wreck me yet.
Did you and Dad have to go through this stuff with me?
Of course we did.
Are you very disappointed, Phil?
Yes. I was almost sure...
he'd hand me the Stassen story or Washington.
I wasn't looking for an easy one, Ma...
but I wanted something I could make good on.
I'd so like the first one to be a natural...
something I know they'd read.
You mean there's enough anti-Semitism in real life...
without people reading it?
No, but this one's doomed before I start.
What could I possibly say that hasn't been said before?
MRS. GREEN: I don't know.
Maybe it hasn't been said well enough.
If it had, you wouldn't have had to explain it to Tommy...
or your father and I to you.
It would be nice sometime not to have to explain it...
to someone like Tommy.
Kids are so decent to start with.
Home for lunch?
No.
Think I'll take a walk.
You're quite a girl, Ma.
You seem surprised. Why?
MI NI FY: I didn't think you were going to do it.
You have a bad poker face.
I saw you were disappointed in the assignment...
the minute I mentioned it.
What changed your mind?
Oh, a couple of things.
I may put my niece under contract...
inspiration department.
No, it wasn't that.
It was my kid.
I had to explain it to him. It was tough.
It's really each house, each family that decides it.
I want to do it--very much.
MI NI FY: I couldn't be more pleased.
I'll need some facts from your research department.
What?
I'll have to get facts from your research people.
I've got eighteen hacks on this magazine...
who can do this series with their hands full of facts.
I don't need you for that.
What do you think I brought you here for?
Use your head. Go right to the source.
I want some angle, some compelling lead...
some dramatic device to humanize it so it gets read.
You don't want much. You just want the moon.
With parsley. Suggestion--
there's a bigger thing to do than the crackpot story.
It's been done plenty.
It's the wider spread I want--
the people that would never go near an anti-Semitic meeting...
or send a dime to Gerald L.K. Smith.
All right...
I'll knock it around.
Give my best to the research department.
So long.
You don't happen to want my niece's phone number?
Regent 7-0493.
We're having dinner together.
I always like to go right to the source.
Fresh coffee, sir?
Oh, thank you.
You're a very flattering listener.
Well, I've been interested.
No, it's more than that.
Your face takes sides...
as if you were voting for and against.
When I told you about my longing for a nice home...
you looked happy.
When I told you about UncleJohn...
offering to send me to Vassar, you looked bleak.
How did your parents take it...
about Mr. Minify giving you an allowance...
and pretty clothes and all the rest?
They said they wanted Jane, my sister, and me...
to have the things that would make us happy.
And did they?
Yes, I think so.
I quit being envious...
and...snobbish.
I felt right and easy.
Now you're looking all dubious again.
Oh, please, don't think I'm just sitting here...
approving and disapproving.
It's not that.
It's just that...
Well, I--
We've certainly covered a lot of ground.
Are you engaged to anybody now...
or in love or anything?
Not especially.
Are you?
Not anything.
Dance?
Oh, by the way...
what was the point of your ex-husband...
being asked up to the Minifys' when you were there?
They trying to bring you together?
Could be. AuntJessie does it every once in a while.
Did you ask me to dance?
MRS. GREEN: Oh, Phil, Miss Lacey.
PHI L: OK.
He'll be right here.
He's still at it.
Hi. How's the big outside world?
Still there? Everybody having fun?
No, no, I'm fine.
Just wish I were dead, that's all.
Oh, thanks, Kathy. I'm in my stubborn streak now.
If it won't budge, I won't.
That's great. At the rate it's going now...
do you think you'd like me with white hair?
I'd think you'd look dandy with white hair.
I'll be right here, still trying.
If you don't call, I'd keep wondering why you don't.
It works out as an interruption either way.
I'm a working girl myself.
How many interruptions a day do you want?
I'll thank you to call me five or six times a day.
It's your fault I'm in this jam, anyway.
OK. Bye.
Why don't you take some time off, Phil?
You've been at it day and night for a week.
PHI L: You know me.
When I'm like this, I wouldn't be fun for anybody.
I'm certainly no fun for myself.
No ideas at all yet?
Sure, plenty of ideas, but they all explode in my face.
They just don't stand up.
The right one causes a click inside you.
It hasn't happened yet.
Doesn't look like it's going to, either.
I'm bored with the whole thing...
bored with myself, as a matter of fact.
Do you think I'm losing my grip?
You know, writers do. Maybe it's my turn.
Better not. You couldn't make a nickel at anything else.
Thanks. You can go now. That's a big help.
MRS. GREEN: Bring those things in with you, will you?
Isn't it always tough at the start, Phil?
Never like this.
Never. I've tried everything--
anti-Semitism in business, labor, professions.
It's all there, but I can't make it give.
I've tried everything, separately and together.
When I think I'm getting onto something good...
I go a little deeper, and it turns into the same old drool...
of statistics and protest.
It's like beating your head against a concrete wall.
Gee, I wish Dave were here.
Dave Goldman?
He'd be the guy to talk it over with, wouldn't he?
Yes, he would. Still overseas?
Yeah. Looks like he's stuck there, too.
He'd be just the one, though.
Hey, maybe that's a new tack.
So far, I've been digging into facts and evidence.
I've sort of ignored feelings.
How must a fellow like Dave feel about this thing?
That's good, Phil.
Over and above what we feel about it...
what must a Jew feel about this thing?
Dave. Can I think my way into Dave's mind?
He's the fellow I'd be if I were a Jew.
We grew up together. We were the gang.
We did everything together.
Whatever Dave feels now--
indifference, outrage, contempt--
would be the feelings of Dave not only as a Jew...
but the way I feel as a man, as an American, as a citizen.
Is that right, Ma?
MRS. GREEN: Write him a letter.
PHI L: Maybe I've broken this logjam.
MRS. GREEN: Put it down like you said to me.
Now, what do I say?
What do I say?
''Dear Dave, give me the lowdown on your guts...
''when you hear about Rankin calling people kikes.
''How do you feel when Jewish kids...
''get their teeth kicked out byJew-haters?''
Could you write that kind of a letter, Ma?
That's no good, all of it.
It wouldn't be any good if I could write it.
There's no way to tear open the secret heart of another.
Yes, I guess you're right, but there must be some way.
There must!
Hey, don't you get started.
I don't want to depress the whole family.
You look tired. Go to bed.
One good thing came out of this, anyway--
reminded me I owe Dave a letter. I'll write him anyway.
And I'd like more sympathy...
now that you see how tough it is.
Sympathy? No.
I think it's worth it, if that's any consolation.
Oh, it's mighty small, Ma...
but I'm in no position to dicker.
Good night, baby.
MRS. GREEN: Ohh.
Uhh.
Tommy?
MRS. GREEN: Ohh!
-Aah! -Ma!
Is it your heart? Does it seem like your heart?
Wait.
You all right? Seem any easier?
Passing.
Well, I'll get a doctor.
-I'll phone Kathy. -No.
-She'll know the right one. -Wait.
I never realized pain could be so...sharp.
You let me phone Kathy.
She'll know a heart man.
What time is it?
Oh, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Come on.
Come back and hold my hand.
Sure, sure.
Will she die, Pop? Will she?
Well, she'll die someday, Tom...
just like you or me or anybody.
The doctor said she might be fine for years if she's careful.
Your grandma's not young, Tom.
All that packing and unpacking tired her out too much.
I'll bet we can run this place between us.
Sure.
Say, what are we going--
It's scary, Tom, I know.
I was scared last night myself, plenty.
But we'll take good care of her.
She might be fine till you're grown up.
-[Doorbell buzzes] -That's the doctor.
Will you make your breakfast and go to school?
-Sure. -We'll do fine. Get going.
I told your mother the truth.
People with hearts outlive everyone else if they take care.
This may be what we call false angina...
instead of the true angina.
You keep her in bed for a few days...
and then we'll get her to the office and really see.
No use getting too technical until we really know.
PHI L: Doctor, are you sure?
I never minimize at a time like this.
I don't frighten, but I don't minimize.
Right now, it's nothing to worry about.
MRS. GREEN: Phil.
Go ahead. I know the way out.
I'll keep dropping in for the next few days.
PHI L: Thank you.
Everything OK?
No need to look like Hamlet. I feel wonderful.
Well, don't crowd things. You feel like talking?
Ever know me when I didn't, except last night?
PHI L: Now I really believe the doctor for the first time.
Good. So do I.
-Tommy get off all right? -Sure.
Fixed his own breakfast. Did a good job, too.
I'll be up tomorrow.
-No, you won't. -Yes, I will.
No, you won't.
-Get any sleep? -Sure.
Eyes like poached eggs.
Get some sleep today. Don't try to work, please.
Well, you don't need to worry about that.
I've decided. I'm going to phone Minify.
There's a certain virtue in knowing when you're licked.
Well, I'm licked. I might as well accept it.
I decided last night.
When?
When I was sitting here waiting for the doctor.
Why?
Well, I was scared, Ma--
just like I used to be...
when I'd get to wondering what I'd do...
if anything ever happened to you.
I was a kid again, and my ma was sick.
MRS. GREEN: Now, Phil.
I wanted to ask you, is it awful? Are you afraid?
But there are some questions nobody can ask...
and they can't be answered.
I'll know the answer to those two...
only when I feel it myself-- when I'm lying there.
And that's the way it is with the series.
I can't really write it.
You did get the answers before.
Every article you wrote, the right answers got in.
Yeah, but I didn't ask for them.
When I wanted to find out about a scared guy in a jalopy...
I didn't stand out on Route Sixty-six...
and ask a lot of questions.
I bought some old clothes and a broken-down car...
and took Route Sixty-six myself.
I lived in their camps, ate what they ate.
I found the answers in my own guts...
not somebody else's.
I didn't say, ''What does it feel like to be an Okie?''
I was an Okie. That's the difference, Ma.
On the coal mine series...
I didn't sit in my bedroom and do research.
I didn't tap some poor guy on the shoulder and make him talk.
I got myself a job. I went in the dark.
I slept in a shack.
I didn't try to dig into a miner's heart.
I was a miner.
Ma...maybe.
Hey, maybe.
I got it!
The lead, the idea, the angle. This is the way.
I'll--I'll beJewish.
I'll--Well, all I got to do is say it.
Nobody knows me around here. I can just say it.
I can live it myself for six weeks, eight weeks, nine months.
Ma, it's right this time.
It must be. It always is when you're this sure.
Listen, I even got the title--
''I Was Jewish For Six Months.''
It's right, Phil.
Ma...this is it.
That click just happened inside of me.
Well, it won't be the same, sure, but it ought to be close.
I can just tell them I am and see what happens.
It'll work. It'll work fine, Phil.
Dark hair, dark eyes. Sure, so has Dave.
So have a lot of guys who aren'tJewish.
No accent, no mannerisms. Neither has Dave.
Name--Phil Green. Skip the Schuyler.
Might be anything--Phil Green.
Ma, it's a cinch.
Oh, Phil, this is the best medicine I could have had.
Will you keep my secret?
It has to be without exceptions if it works at all.
If you'reJewish, I am, too.
Take it easy. I got to phone right away.
Why don't you have Kathy come over here?
How did you know I wasn't going to phone Minify?
Dope. Nobody phones a magazine editor...
with that look on his face.
Oh, Phil, it's nice. It's attractive.
PHI L: Well, it's not done yet. Those packages are pictures.
The last of our books just came.
You have a fireplace. Mine's only fake.
How's your mother? The doctor said she'd be fine.
Oh, she's all right.
What's the angle? Tell me fast.
Just a minute. I want to check up on Ma.
Good. Give her my love.
She's sleeping like a baby.
KATHY: Good. Don't worry about her.
-Let's have a drink. -No, thanks.
-Just some sherry. -All right.
You're still not telling me.
Funny. I thought I'd spill it out the minute you got here.
-You sounded so excited. -I am.
It must be really something.
There will be stumbling blocks, but I don't care.
I'll lick...lick them when I get to them.
Kathy.
Phil.
Phil, wait, now.
You go over there and let me sit here for a minute.
PHI L: What is it, Kathy?
Nothing.
I was just thinking.
Marriage can be such a good way to live, Kathy.
All these years I've kept hoping.
I've kept hoping, too...
but when you've made a mistake once, you're afraid.
You're not afraid now.
No, Phil.
PHI L: Darling.
What are you smiling at?
-Nothing. -Come on, no secrets.
I was just thinking.
I was playing that game. All women do it--
trying out the name.
Say it out loud.
Mrs. Schuyler Green.
Well, how does it sound?
It sounds just fine.
How does it look on me?
I like it.
Kathy...y-you're not sorry about...Tom?
Oh, Phil, I'm glad.
It's almost as if my marriage hadn't been wasted...
as if I'd had a son growing up for me.
I knew you'd get it...
but can you get away with it?
Yeah, sure, if you and Kathy and Mrs. Minify...
won't give me away. I haven't told Kathy yet.
When do you start?
Why not now?
I'll get you an office and a secretary...
but wouldn't the secretary have to know?
Why? Supposing I were reallyJewish?
What difference would it make to her or anybody?
You're right, Phil. I'm excited about this.
-They'll read this. -Mr. Weisman is waiting.
Yes. What about lunch? Chance to meet the whole staff.
Irving Weisman is lunching with us.
-He's the big industrialist? -Yes. Come on.
MI NI FY: He's a colorful fellow.
Old friend of mine. I know you'll like him.
TI NGLER: Picture of the Empire State Building.
PAYSON: It was over a year.
TI NGLER: Over to the left.
MI NI FY: Sorry we're late, Irving.
Mr. Phil Green, Mr. Irving Weisman.
PHI L: Mr. Weisman.
MI NI FY: Lew Jordan, personnel manager.
Joe Tingler, demon photographer. Bill Payson, art editor.
Bert McAnny, the best layout man this side of the Mexican border.
And last is a kind of dessert...
Anne Dettrey, our fashion editor--
clever, beautiful, and dangerous.
Eats men alive. Sit down beside her.
ANNE: I thought it was Schuyler Green.
PHI L: That's my writing name.
MI NI FY: Mr. Green is doing a series on anti-Semitism.
WEISMAN: Really? Again?
MI NI FY: Not again. For the first time.
We're going to split it wide open.
As an old friend, this is a very bad idea,John...
the most harmful thing you could possibly do now.
Not at all. Why is it a harmful idea?
It'll only stir it up more. Let it alone.
We'll handle it our own way.
The hush-hush way?
WEISMAN: Call it what you like. Let it alone.
You can't write it out of existence.
We've been fighting it for years.
We know from experience...
the less talk there is, the better.
Sure. Pretend it doesn't exist...
add to the conspiracy of silence.
I should say not.
Keep silent and let Bilbo...
and Gerald L.K. Smith do all the talking?
No, sir.
Irving...you and your...
let's-be-quiet-about-it committees have gotten no place.
We'll call a spade a dirty spade.
I think it's high time and a fine idea.
PHI L: So do I. I couldn't agree more.
ANNE: You sound pretty hot about it.
PHI L: I feel hot about it...
and it hasn't anything to do with being Jewish myself.
Right office?
Mr. Green? This is your office.
I'm your secretary Elaine Wales.
How do you do?
Mind if we get right to work?
Not at all.
You know about my series?
Yes, sir.
Good. I want to start a file.
Write form letters to clubs, resorts...
interviews for jobs, apartments...
applications for medical schools, and so forth.
I have a list somewhere.
ELAI NE: Yes, sir.
Write the letters on blank stationery.
Send two to each address--
one signed Schuyler Green, the other Philip Greenberg.
See what I mean?
Yes, sir.
PHI L: Have the replies sent to my home address.
Yes, sir.
Of course, it will be yes to the Greens...
and no to the Greenbergs.
PHI L: Sure, but I want it for the record.
If your name was Saul Green or Irving...
you wouldn't have to go to all this bother.
I changed mine. Did you?
Green's always been my name. What's yours?
Estelle Walovsky, and I just couldn't take it--
about applications, I mean...
so one day I wrote the same firm two letters...
same as you're doing now.
I sent the Elaine Wales one...
after they'd said there were no openings.
I got the job, all right.
Do you know what firm that was?
Smith's Weekly.
No.
ELAI NE: Ha ha. Yes, Mr. Green.
The great liberal magazine...
that fights injustice on all sides.
It slays me. I love it.
Mr. Minify know about that?
He can't be bothered thinking about small fry.
That's Mr.Jordan's department-- hiring and firing.
But if anybody snitched...
you know there'd be some excuse for throwing them out.
So I thought maybe you had changed yours sometime--
I mean, when I heard you wereJewish.
You heard it?
Why, sure.
Is this the list?
PHI L: Yeah.
When?
When you finished luncheon...
and went back to Mr. Minify's office...
it kind of...got around.
She'll be fit as a fiddle day after tomorrow.
I'd like her to see a good internist.
Good idea. I'll make an appointment.
I always use Mason Van Dyck orJames Kent.
One of the editors recommended someone--
Doctor, uh--Dr. Abrahams.
Abrahams?
Yes,J.E. Abrahams, Mount Sinai Hospital...
Beth Israel, or both.
Yes, yes, of course.
If you decide to use Van Dyck or Kent, I'll arrange it.
Why? Isn't this Abrahams any good?
No, nothing like that. Good man, completely reliable.
Not given to overcharging and stringing visits out...
the way some do.
Do you mean the way some doctors do...
or do you mean the way someJewish doctors do?
I suppose you're right.
Some of us do it, too, not just the chosen people.
If Abrahams doesn't impress me, I'll try Van Dyck or Kent.
I've no special loyalty toJewish doctors...
simply because I'm Jewish.
No, of course not.
A good man's a good man.
I don't believe in prejudice.
I see.
Well, uh...
good evening.
-Evening, Mr. Green. -Evening, Mr. Olsen.
Say, Mr. Green...
why don't you fill out one of them cards at the post office...
or tell the mailman?
PHI L: What's the matter with this way?
It's the rules.
PHI L: Leave that alone.
It's nothing I can help, Mr. Green. It's the rules.
The renting agent should have explained--
that is--excuse me--if you are.
Excuse me, nothing.
This is my place for two years, and don't touch that card.
PHI L: You don't mean we're going to have dinner here?
KATHY: I do, indeed.
-So we can talk. -Talk?
KATHY: You sit there.
I'm not going to let you get going on another thing.
You don't get dinner until you tell me the angle.
I've been trying to guess all day long.
-Have you? -Yes.
I kept thinking...
''Suppose I were he, and I needed an angle?''
What would you do?
Well, I got just no place.
Some of your ideas were excellent...
but you threw them out.
You'll see why as soon as I tell you.
Phil, tell me.
All right. Here it is.
I'm going to let everybody know that I'm Jewish, that's all.
Jewish?
But you're not, are you?
Not that it would make any difference to me...
but you said...
''I'll let everybody know,'' as if you hadn't before.
So I just wondered.
Not that it would matter to me.
Phil, you're annoyed.
PHI L: I was just thinking.
Well, don't be so serious about it.
You must know where I stand.
Oh, I do.
KATHY: It's just that you caught me off guard...
not knowing too much about you...
because you make me talk about myself...
so for a minute, I wasn't very bright.
Well, anyway, you don't think much of my angle?
Oh, I do.
-It's-- -What?
It's just that I...
I think it'll mix everybody up. People won't know what you are.
Of course, after this series is finished, they'll know...
but even so, it'll keep cropping up.
PHI L: All right.
Let it.
I must be out of my head.
''Let it'' is right. Who cares?
I was just being too practical about things.
That's what comes from being a schoolteacher.
Now tell me more.
Well, to begin with...
you and the Minifys have to promise not to give me away.
No exceptions for anything, OK?
OK.
Won't the people at Smith's talk?
They don't know, only Minify.
They think you'reJewish?
I don't think you understand.
If this is going to work, we have to go whole hog.
It's got to go right through everything.
Of course.
I hadn't really seen it before.
I didn't mean to be so sharp.
I'm sorry.
Dinner?
Fine.
You sit there. I'm doing the serving myself.
More coffee?
Only take a minute to heat it.
No, thanks.
Well, I think I'd better be getting along.
So soon?
I should look in at Ma before she gets to sleep.
Of course.
You have to get to the school pretty early, don't you?
Yes.
I had a pretty full day at the magazine, too.
Yes.
That was a mighty fine dinner.
I'm glad you liked it.
My car's downstairs. Let me run you home.
No, thanks.
I think I'll walk.
It's a lovely night.
Yes, it is.
It's lovely.
I'd better be getting off.
Oh, don't bother. I know where my hat is.
KATHY: Oh, it's no bother.
I'll call you sometime tomorrow.
All right.
Good night.
Good night, Phil.
WOMAN: Mary said to come right over.
She's cooked a big dinner, so there's plenty--
[Elevator arrives]
I forgot something.
-Darling! -Kathy.
KATHY: I'm so glad you came back.
PHI L: It's my fault. I'm always weighing and judging.
I'm such a solemn fool.
I should have said the angle was fine right away. It is.
I don't know what happened. I felt insulted.
If I wereJewish, that's the way I would have felt...
and I couldn't let you off.
All through dinner, I tried to tell you I was sorry...
and I couldn't.
I don't know what happened to me when you told me...
except the whole beautiful evening was spoiled.
I wanted you to come back.
PHI L: Darling.
But, Mr. Minify, I never make it a policy just to hire.
It's a question of personality.
If a girl's personality is the type that fits in--
It's just by chance, you mean...
that we haven't one secretary named Finkelstein or Cohen?
In the city of New York?
Come off it,Jordan.
Miss Miller, take a help wanted ad.
Expert secretary for editorial department...
national magazine.
Exacting work, good pay.
Religion is a matter of indifference to this office.
-Got that? -Yes, Mr. Minify.
In any ad you run, use that last line.
That's all. Good afternoon,Jordan.
By the way, if you should fire Miss Wales...
for any reason whatever at any time...
remember, I'd like to review the case myself first.
JORDAN: Good afternoon, Mr. Minify.
I'm ashamed of myself and this magazine, too.
The sloppy notion that everybody's doing bigger things.
There isn't anything bigger...
than beating down the complacency about prejudice.
Yes, I'm ashamed of myself.
Go on back to work.
PHI L: I've given a clear picture of my qualifications...
and I would very much appreciate...
your immediate consideration and reply.
Sincerely yours.
Better ask for an immediate reply on all of them.
Don't bother today. It's too late.
Tomorrow will be all right.
When will you start dictating the series?
I'd like to get the decks cleared.
PHI L: I'll type it myself to start with.
I'm not much good on dictating copy.
That'll be all, Miss Wales.
You'd better get along home.
All right.
Mr. Green, is it true about Mr.Jordan?
Is what true about Mr.Jordan?
Well, he's telling everybody about Mr. Minify's ad.
He thinks it's a wonderful thing...he says.
PHI L: He does, huh?
Is it true that the ad says right out--
Right straight out, Miss Wales.
It's going to be in all the papers tomorrow.
WALES: Practically inviting any type at all to apply?
Any type? What do you mean?
Mr. Green, you don't want things changed around here, do you?
Even though you are a writer, and it's different for writers.
How?
Get one wrong one in here, and it'll come out of us.
It's no fun being the fall guy for the kikey ones.
Now, look, Miss Wales...
we've got to be frank with each other.
You have a right to know right now...
that words like yid and kike and kikey...
and nigger and coon make me sick no matter who says them.
I only said it for a type.
Yeah, but we're talking about a word first.
WALES: But, Mr. Green, that doesn't mean a thing.
Sometimes I even say it about me.
Like if I'm about to do something I know I shouldn't...
I say, ''Don't be such a little kike.''
That's all.
But let one objectionable one--
PHI L: What do you mean by objectionable?
Loud and too much rouge--
They don't hire any loud, vulgar girls.
Why should they start?
It's not only that.
Mr. Green, you're sort of heckling me.
You know the sort that starts trouble in a place like this...
and the sort that doesn't, like you or me...
so why pin me down?
You mean because we don't look especiallyJewish...
because we're OKJews...
with us it can be kept comfortable and quiet?
WALES: I didn't say--
Miss Wales, I hate anti-Semitism...
and I hate it from you or anybody who's Jewish...
as much as I hate it from Gentiles.
Me? Why, Mr. Green!
PHI L: See you tomorrow, Miss Wales.
Good night.
-Why don't you go home? -I'm slowly going crazy.
ANNE: Hi there!
PHI L: Hello, Miss Dettrey.
How can you leave with such energy and vitality...
at the end of the day? I'm bushed.
Getting the book to bed gets worse every issue.
PHI L: I didn't know you called it the book around here.
We do. We're sophisticated New Yorkers, Mr. Green.
Do you happen to be thirsty?
PHI L: I do, and I want to hear your life story.
I think this can be arranged, if you play your cards right.
PHI L: You know a nice bar?
This couldn't happen to a nicer girl.
And that's how I got to be fashion editor.
BERT: Hello,Jim. How are you?
ANNE: Don't look now. I think we've got visitors.
Just when I was getting to the tender part, too.
Mind if I sit with you charming people?
No. Sit down, Bert.
-Only got a minute. May I? -Certainly.
You were having such fun, I couldn't resist.
We just love to spread merriment.
Our hearts are God's garden-- just occasional weeds.
Another issue gone to press.
I don't see how we do it.
We're just brilliant, Bert.
Every morning, I ask my mirror who's the most brilliant of all.
PHI L: What does it say?
That mirror ain't no gentleman.
Well, Green, how's the series coming?
I'm still just getting stuff together.
When I was stationed at Guam, our C.O. talked to us about it.
Quite a liberal.
You were in public relations, weren't you?
What makes you say that?
I don't know.
You just seem like a... clever sort of a guy.
What makes you think I wasn't a G.I.?
Huh?
Now, for goodness' sake, Green, don't get me wrong.
Why, some of my best friends--
And some of your other best friends...
are Methodist, but you never say it.
Now, look, Anne.
Skip it.
Flag a waiter, Phil, and be a dear?
Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got to run.
I'll be seeing you.
Little drip.
''Now, for goodness' sake, Green...
''don't get me wrong.''
Really believes it, too.
Disapproves of the poll tax and Bilbo.
Comes right out and says so, brave as anything.
He's just a drip, let's face it.
That imitation was wonderful.
Got a million of'em. We're back to laughs, anyway.
I'm having people up tomorrow night.
What about pressing your black tie and coming up?
Sure. Like it fine. Can I bring my girl?
Of course.
What'll you have, sir?
-More of the same. -Thank you.
Wait here, will you? I'll be right back.
Surprise.
PHI L: That's what I call timing.
I saw your cab drive up. I just couldn't wait.
[Phil whistles]
Oh, brother.
Oh, it's nothing.
Little lady whips 'em up for me.
Been with the family for generations.
Look at you.
First time I've seen you in dinner clothes.
Good enough to eat with a spoon.
PHI L: Come on, dear, let's go.
I told Ma about us.
Was she pleased?
She was delighted.
She got very emotional-- for Ma, anyway.
She broke one of her best dishes and blamed it on Tommy.
I called my sisterJane and blurted it out...
and she squealed, ''Kathy!''
as if she'd given up all hope anyone would ask me again.
She's aching to meet you.
They're giving a big party for us next Saturday.
Won't we have to letJane in on it?
PHI L: I hadn't thought.
I hadn't, either, but won't we? Your mother knows.
She had to, butJane and her husband don't.
If you want to keep a secret--
But wouldn't it be sort of exaggerated with my own sister?
Your sister-in-law, almost.
I do think it would be inflexible of you.
I suppose it would, inside the family.
They won't tell anybody else, will they?
They'd never breathe it.
They want to fight this awful thing as much as you and I do.
Darling, I'm going to be the proudest girl on the block.
PHI L: I don't have to kiss you in public.
I've got a nice dark taxi outside.
What are we waiting for?
Come on.
Don't just stand there.
KATHY: She's awfully attractive, isn't she?
PHI L: She looks really beautiful.
KATHY: She certainly does, and she likes you a lot.
I'll scratch her eyes out if she makes a play for you.
PHI L: That's the way to talk.
Flash--You haven't got a thing to worry about.
-Hello, Anne. -Hello, Anne.
Can I get you something? Food, drink...
some certified checks, spending money, an emerald?
It's a lovely party, Anne.
It'll be better when it thins out.
I think I can get Sasha to play and Ethel to sing.
Stick around.
Professor Lieberman just came in.
Would you two like to meet him?
PHI L: I should say so.
KATHY: What does one say to a world-renowned physicist?
Just ''Hello, toots.''
Come on. He's a wonderful guy.
I'm not happy till I'm out in my boat.
I bought a new one.
You ought to join me. You look tired and drawn.
FRED: Say when.
ANNE: Two people want to meet you, but are scared.
They'll introduce themselves.
That will make them open their mouths, anyway.
You're on your own, kids.
PHI L: Fine friend.
ANNE: Come on, Fred. I want them to be alone.
This is my fiancée Kathy Lacey.
I'm Phil Green.
John Minify has been wanting to get us together.
Yes, yes.
Yes, he told me he did.
PHI L: I'm doing a series for him on anti-Semitism.
For or against?
Well, he thought we might hash over some ideas.
LI EBERMAN: What sort of ideas?
Palestine, for instance. Zionism.
Which? Palestine as a refuge...
or Zionism as a movement for a Jewish state?
PHI L: The confusion between the two, more than anything.
If we agree there's confusion, we can talk.
We scientists love confusion...
but right now, I'm starting on a new crusade of my own.
I have no religion, so I'm notJewish by religion.
Further, I'm a scientist, so I must rely on science...
which shows me I'm notJewish by race...
since there's no such thing as a distinctJewish race.
There's not even a Jewish type.
Well, my crusade will have a certain charm.
I will simply go forth and state I'm not a Jew.
With my face, that becomes not an evasion...
but a new principle--
a scientific principle.
-For a scientific age. -Precisely.
There must be millions of people nowadays...
who are religious only in the vaguest sense.
I've often wondered why theJewish ones among them...
still go on calling themselves Jews.
Can you guess why, Mr. Green?
No, but I'd like to know.
Because the world still makes it an advantage not to be one.
Thus, for many of us, it becomes a matter of pride...
to go on calling ourselves Jews.
So you see, I will have to abandon my crusade...
before it begins.
Only if there were no anti-Semites...
could I go on with it.
And now I would like to try...
another little scientific experiment.
I wonder if you would leave me alone...
with your very beautiful fiancée...
while you went and got me a plate of food?
PHI L: Well...
LI EBERMAN: In the interest of science.
Anything for science, Professor.
I'm John Minify's niece Kathy Lacey.
ANNE: And a little onion.
There. Now go play with that, Fred.